Diary of a Pokémon Hatcher
by NathanielTortellini
Summary: After an Ultra Wormhole pulls me into my copy of Ultra Moon, I need to get a job to survive. Luckily, two sisters help me out. I am the Pokémon Hatcher, a guy who hatches Pokémon for those to lazy to do it themselves! Rated for Pokémon breeding and foul language.


Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. Nintendo does.

AN: Nathan, my character in this, is a self insert. There are numbered annotations sometimes.

Day One: My New Life

My name is Nathan, and as of today, I'm a Pokemon Hatcher, a person that hatches Pokemon for trainers too lazy to do it themselves for a small fee.

Now, I suppose I should start with this morning.

I started my day, as always, with a cup of coffee and my medication. Then I sat down on the couch and began to play my copy of Ultra Moon, using my phone to research things I want to do with the 'Mons. This went well until a fucking sky-vagina — I mean, Ultra Wormhole — just ripped its way into existence in front of me, ripping me from the couch, and after a few moments of screaming in terror, dropped me off in some grass, along with my phone, my 3DS, chargers for both, a notebook, a pencil, and my Husky bag, with some games and some Tootsie Rolls in it.

I gathered my things into the bag, and looked around. It was then that I knew something was off.

A fucking Pawniard and a Ditto-Pawniard were fucking a few yards away from me. A short cry from the Pawniard later, and an egg just squelched out from the Ditto.

So that's how it happens.

Anyway, they turned and saw me, and I had the urge to run away.

So I did.

After a frantic sprint away from them, I jumped a fence and fell over a girl that looked suspiciously familiar.

She had black hair, brown eyes, and wore a black shirt, a blue skirt, striped stockings — and that was when she shoved me away from her for staring, declaring me a pervert, and looking at me in disgust. I apologized as nicely as I could and after a thoughtful look, she accepted my apology.

Then the farm girl that was leaning against the Daycare (I figured it out after the Pokémon sex) spoke up. "What are y'all doin'? Yer makin' such a racket!"

"Sorry," we both muttered.

Turns out that I was right about the girl being familiar. We introduced ourselves. Her name was Selene, and she was a trainer. With a Pokédex. And with the team that I was working on in her pockets.

She's the character I was playing as, just a bit while ago. Of course, I didn't tell her that.

I asked her if she needed help with anything, and she actually asked me to help her hatch Pokémon for her team!

Of course, I accepted her little quest, and she gave me a few eggs and I joined her, pacing the area in front of the Daycare. Turns out that the Pawniard and the Ditto were hers. Then we put the freshly hatched Pawniards into the PC after she logged in for me.

(Also, for anyone who wants to know, to put a Pokémon into the PC, you put the poké ball into a little hole in the side and press a button. It teleports it with a little light.)

We did this for a few hours, then she decided to try wonder trading the runts. She sat down next to the PC and quickly fell into a trance. Then an Ultra Ball appeared above her head and shot off at warp speed. A moment passed and a Luxury Ball fell and bounced off her head and landed in her waiting hands. She let out the Pokémon (a Lilipup), returned it, and sent it off again. While she did that, I talked with the farm girl.

"Hey, do you need any help around here?" I asked.

She replied, "I've been thinkin' about a new position for the next person to say that. I saw you helpin' that girl out. She's a regular, 'round these parts, and that job'll be perfect fer you!"

I asked her what that job was.

"You'll be a Pokemon Hatcher!"

Great. A job that involves exercise. I hope it pays well.

"You'll work for 100 Poké an hour(1). How's that?"

I told her about a slight problem: I didn't have anywhere to stay.

She told me that I could stay in the guest room in her house, if her sister didn't mind.

Both her sister and I accepted the proposition.

Selene was happy for me, but she was done breeding for the day. She pulled out her Ride Pager and called for a Charizard to take her home to her mom, telling me that she'd come back tomorrow. I can't wait!

Then more introductions were in order. The younger sister was named Sam, and she's 21. The older sister was named Krys, and she's also 21. They're twins, but there's a difference between them: Krys has a mole under her left eye and Sam has a mole under her right eye. Plus, she's a little skinnier.

Got to remember that.

Krys locked up and we headed over to the house, which was on the other side of the field next to the Daycare. It was a nice place, big, five bedrooms and two bathrooms. They showed me to my new room. It was very small, just big enough for the bed , a table and chair, a small TV, and an empty closet. Good enough, I guess. At least there was a spare outlet next to the bed. I put my stuff on the table and thanked the sisters for the fifth time today.

Then they set some rules:

1: Don't go into their rooms without their permission.

2: Don't fuck the Pokémon. (They had a helper that raped a Gardevoir and died)

3: Don't cook the Pokémon eggs. They always have a baby in them.

4: Don't eat the Pokémon, even the Slowpoke tails.

5: Don't let the Pokémon fuck the farm animals. (They have regular cows, chickens, sheep, and pigs for food in other nearby farms)

6: Don't steal any trainer's Pokémon.

7: Don't steal from the house.

8: Don't do drugs unless I share. (Turns out that drugs exist, but they're all illegal, except for alcohol.)

9: Don't drink or sleep on the job.

And finally, 10: Don't hurt the Pokémon.

Simple enough.

We ate dinner together (pork chops and mashed potatoes), and wished each other good night.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring…

(To be continued)

(1) Poké is from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, and it's what I call the money in Pokémon.


End file.
